When you are not clear about your needs and wants, it becomes likely to engage in self-sabotaging behaviours. Most of the time, you are not even aware that you are being your worst enemy. Are you worried that you might be getting in your own way?
Now this doesn’t imply to go down the spiral of shame and guilt but rather cultivate awareness. Below, I have shared 3 ways to get out of your own way and get things done.
1) Know your WHY
It’s crucial to know the core reason for starting something new in any area of life. This thought was lingering on my mind the other day as I was preparing notes for the new Shift Mentorship client.
Before starting this 3 month coaching journey, I design a customized action plan for the client based on their questionnaire and our initial discussion. On our first call, we holistically discuss their needs, wants and desires as well as their strengths, weaknesses and subconscious storage systems.
The key step to assisting them to get out of your own way is to unpack the WHY behind their goals. This is important because, it helps to anchor into their truth. And based on their WHY, I create a customized subliminal and hypnosis track that will support them throughout the next 3 months and beyond.
Knowing their WHY also becomes a reminder for them to get out of their own way and stay consistent.
Your WHY is the purpose, reason/s & motive you want to achieve a goal, desire and cause. And one of the key reasons for not seeing your goals till the end is the lack of clarity and purpose.
So, in order to gain clarity and confidently achieve your goals in your life & business, start with unpacking your WHY behind it.
For example, your goal is to lose weight.
– Why do you feel the need to lose weight?
– Why do you want to live a healthier lifestyle?
– What emotions and values do you want to tap into and why?
– Why losing weight important to you?
– Why do you think losing weight will bring you confidence (replace it with the feelings you’re looking to feel)?
– What will losing weight make possible for you in your life and in your business?
Your WHY becomes the reason to take action and get out of your own way. Let it guide your actions and decisions, even when they seem challenging and hard.
Knowing the WHY behind your goal will greatly increase your chances of successfully taking action towards your desired goal.
Important tip: When you set a goal, identify the emotional reason why this is important to you in order to increase success rate.
2) Take small steps to achieve your goals
Breaking down your goals into small chunks is another way to get out of your own way.
I used to think that multitasking is my superpower. But to be honest, it’s difficult to do everything at once and all by myself – at least not without getting overwhelmed.
Do you feel the same way about multitasking?
Overwhelm is one of the reasons why you get discouraged and don’t take your goals to the finish line. Most of the time, it’s procrastination and perfectionism hiding underneath multitasking.
Instead of focusing on one thing at a time, you’re spreading yourself thin by hopping from tasks to tasks. This makes you feel frustrated because of the lack of immediate results and instant gratification.
However, there is a better way!
Break your goals into small steps. Steps that are doable and easy. These little steps compound over time and have the potential to make a difference. And small steps foster consistency and build habits.
For example: If your goal is to write a blog post, start with writing a couple of sentences and then build upon it.
During moments when things get tough, and you feel like giving up, go back to your WHY that you wrote down as a reminder to keep going. Remember, your WHY is the reason behind achieving your goal.
3) Replace self-defeating thoughts with self-supportive thoughts
You can’t make excuses for yourself and get out of your own way at the same time. Because the way you treat yourself and the way you talk to yourself matters.
Self-talk is your internal dialogue which is influenced by your subconscious mind. Your self-talk can be encouraging or discouraging depending upon your thoughts, emotions and beliefs.
Therefore, observing your thoughts and taking notice of when self-depreciating thoughts are taking the lead is of significant importance.
Learn to notice when your brain says that you can’t, shouldn’t bother, aren’t good enough, are born to fail or rejected, you don’t matter and don’t deserve it while simultaneously leaning-into your feelings.
When a negative and self-defeating thought pops up, acknowledge it and then replace it with a supportive and helpful thought.
Negative/self-defeating thought: I can’t do this.
Supportive thought: I am capable of doing anything I want.
Negative/self-defeating thought: I really screwed up that project, I am failure.
Supportive thought: I can do better next time. Failure is part of the journey, and it doesn’t define who I am. I choose to be kind and gentle with myself.
With each of these thought processes, the behaviour that follows will be different, and directly in line with your beliefs.
If your self-talk most closely aligns with the negative thought, then you’re more likely to stay stuck and stagnant in business and life.
However, if your self-talk most closely aligns with the helpful thought process, then you are likely to have a willingness to give some amount of effort even in the face of your fears and uncertainty.
The journey of getting out of your own way is all about cultivating self-awareness through self-reflection as well as taking action in the midst of uncertainty and self-doubt. Standing in your own way only hurts you, no one else. But, it is through action that you gain clarity and build self-confidence that propels you to move forward and achieve your goals and desires.